THE woman behind a man is half the reason why he is where he is today.
Therefore, it is highly important for me to list down the traits I need to find in my future wife.
Numerous examples I have read affirmed the idea that who you will be spending your rest of your life with will determine how successful you are.
That is to say, it is important for a man to find a life partner. That's what nature designed us to be, two halves make one whole. But it is even more important to find the right half.
Love is an emotion that could possibly be cultivated. A certain amount of ingredients from the two subjects plus a little X-factor here and there can brew love.
There is a law of mutual attraction. But just because humans mutually attract more than one counterpart, it doesn't mean we have to be together with every one we are attracted to. I believe that we should not jump at anyone we find attractive or "statistically" good.
More often than not, love can sometimes be rationalized. It is the media that is inculcating the idea that once you are in love, you have to hold on. This often spells downfall for many couples when they could not find their happily ever after.
I have the strong believe that out there somewhere, there will be someone whom you will be mutually attracted to and have the correct factors complimentary to you. Break ups are not meant to be painful but a celebratory occasion. It means that you have one less option to worry about.
I'm sure there will be readers disputing what I've said so far. I have to declare that what I've written are rational thoughts. Of course, there is no way to predict what we will do for the person we love.
Now comes the traits that are desirable for a successful person
A disclaimers: This section has been modified from a book that was written by a very successful man. I regret not listing the title and author down the moment I copied these traits. But I'm tracking the source.
1. Frugality - The first and most-looked-out-for trait. Wealth is obtained by accumulation. If your outlet is faster than your inlet, you can say bye-bye to wealth. But you cannot be frugal if your spouse is the one spending your money, she will be your outlet, an uncontrollable one if you love her.
Bad part? She might get upset if you buy her a really expensive present to thank her after she just saved your business from bankruptcy. And you thought you would make her happy.
2. Systematic - I really admire woman who takes the time to plan stuff. They appear desirable and organized. She can makes sure that I find my socks in pairs. She can also inspire or nag me to keep my stuff organized. This will compliment my want-to-keep-neat-but-cant-do-it-myself habit.
Only set back I can think of for this trait is that, it could evolve into a pandemic of nagging in later years. But I guess it is nature.
3. High Self-Esteem - People with high self-esteem gives off an aura of confidence. It makes them easy to interact with and gives them the bonus trait of being positive. High self-esteem contributes to a desirable trait called the winner attitude. Winner attitude is highly sought after but man who wants to be successful. Winners seek out winners. People with high self-esteem also do not jump to negative conclusions, this builds the trust a couple needs for one another.
However, it is also challenging to find girls with self-esteem who are single and available. Either they are career driven or already attracted someone way better than your current status. Either way, it makes them more worth while when you actually succeed in winning their hearts.
4. Independent - Strong women are naturally independent. They can stand on their own even without men. When the reliance of man on woman or vice-versa is based purely on emotion instead of physical, it creates a mental burden. Same goes for the other extreme. Man and woman needs to be a support for each other in both mental and physical needs. A balance as I would call it. When two independent people come together, the emotional and physical need is reduced to only the necessary level, leaving enough room for constructive developments for both relationship as well as career. Independent people tend to be more trusting as well.
But it leads to the inability to determine when to settle down. Both could be searching for a better alternative when they already have each other. The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill.
5. Physically attractive - This is extremely subjective. Currently, I'm going for intelligent-looking, slender, slightly or full hour glass figure. No less than 170cm, cos I'm 1.86m tall, it makes doing lots of stuff difficult, haha. I'm quite attracted to girls wearing glasses, maybe because it makes them look studious. I detest girls who smoke no matter how pretty they might be. I'm against dying of hair, what a waste of money and time. Long straight hair is the standard I guess, but I'm slowly getting used to slight perms, I was against it once. Lol. Features wise, its really really hard to describe, I cant really stand heavy make ups, perhaps a little to cover up certain flaws would be fine, but not extremely obvious make-over, time and money is the factor here.
That pretty sums up my fantasy.
Looks is really secondary, its only for me to boost my ego so that I can be more confident when I'm going about my business stuff. It is not really important but I think its neccessary to get my interest.
6. Punctual - This is a trait I shall close one eye for, as far as my experience tells me, woman's idea of punctual is often more than 15min after the meeting time. I believe that I'll be extremely lucky to find this trait in a woman who possesses the previous 5 traits.
Time is money. Saving time is also another form of frugality.
7. Understands and Embraces Delayed Gratification - This is a characteristic trait. I do not want a wife who only knows how to save money but is too afraid grow it. This is a hard-to-come-by trait. This trait will be the deciding factor of all traits. Delayed gratification is such an important concept to me that I believe any woman who can't understand it will not be able to understand me.
A simple test would be:
(A) Work 8 hours a day, get $20 per hour
(B) Work 10 hours a day, for 2 years get approximately $0. After 2 years, possibly starting to receive $5 an hour equivilent, but the amount doubles every year onwards. Working hours decrease as time passes until there's no need to work but the money still keep coming in.
If you feel that B is the better choice, next ask yourself if you can really endure the 2 years or even more of working but not getting paid. Once you understand and embraces the concept of delayed gratification, I would really, really like to meet you. No matter whether we have a future or not, it is still my wish to meet as many like minded people as possible. Do drop me an email @ wei_ge_1989@hotmail.com
I look forward to receiving your mails.
This is not about who I want somone to change for me. You should always be who you are. I'm sure a girl out there will possess all these traits. And I'm also sure that you are unaware of them. It is up to me to find you and win your heart. Every girl deserves romance and I will not deny the one who is most important such entitlement. I humbly thank all who show(ed) concerns for my future, but everyone is entitled to their version of justice and opinion. =D
Bad habits are negligible as long as they are not the direct opposites(spend-thrift; untidy; poor self-esteem; extremely-reliant; abnormal; totally no concept of time; spending whatever earned the moment it was received) of any of the above traits. I understand and will embrace the concept that no one is perfect and a relationship has to be built on the ability to tolerate one another's shortcomings.
My future is in my own hands and I'll not ruin it in the hands of the woman I love. I prefer to hold her and walk towards our future together, giving each other support whenever one of us fall. My life journey will be tough, and I strongly believe that the one who can endure it till the end with me will be the true love I can ever find.
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