Become genuinely interested in other people
YOU can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individual that all human failures spring.
One can win the attention and time and cooperation of even the most sought after people by becoming genuinely interested in them.
"We are interested in others when they are interested in us"
Smile
People who smile tend to manage, teach and sell more effectively, and raise happier children. There is far more information in a smile than a frown. That's why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.
"People rarely succeed at anything unless they have fun doing it"
Everybody in the world is seeking happiness - and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.
It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy of unhappy. It is what you think about it.
Two people may be in the same place, doing the same thing; both may have about an equal amount of money and prestige - and yet one may be miserable and the other happy. Why? Because of a different mental attitude.
"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be"
人无笑脸, 不能开店
"The value of a smile
It costs nothing, but creates much.
It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.
It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.
It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.
It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and Nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is given away.
Nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give"
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
People are so proud of their names that they strive to perpetuate them at any cost.
Most people don't remember names, for the simple reason that they don't take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds. They make excuses for themselves; they are too busy.
Half the time we are introduced to a stranger, we chat a few minutes and can't even remember his or her name by the time we say good bye.
We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realised that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing... and nobody else.
The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
"Few human beings are proof against implied flattery of rapt attention"
Even the most violent critic, will frequently soften and be subdued in the presences of a patient, sympathetic listener - a listener who will be silent while the irate fault finder dilates like a king cobra and spews poison out of his system.
If you want to know how to make people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even despise you, here is the recipe:
- Never listen to anyone for long
- Talk incessantly about yourself.
- If you have an idea while the other person is talking, don't wait for him or her to finish, bust right in and interrupt in the middle of a sentence
A person's toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people.
A boil on one's neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa
Talk in terms of the other person's interest
The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasure most.
Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely
Always make the other person feel important.
"Do unto others as you would others do unto you."
You want the approval of those with whom you come in contact. You want recognition of your true worth. You want a feeling that you are important in your little world. You don't want to listen to cheap, insincere flattery, but you do crave sincere appreciation. You want your friends and associates to be "hearty in their approbation and lavish in their praise."
All of us want that.
Little phrases such as "I'm sorry to trouble you," "Would you be so kind as to --?" "Won't you please?" "Would you mind?" "Thank you" - Little courtesies like these oil the cogs of the monotonous grind of everyday life - and incidentally, they are the hallmark of good breeding.
The life of many person could probably be changed if only someone would make him feel important.
The unravished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realise in some subtle way that you realise their importance, and recognise it sincerely.
The pathetic part of it is that frequently those who have the least justification for a feeling of achievement bolster up their egos by a show of tumult and conceit which is truly nauseating.
"Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours."
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